The first “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie was the first in the line of many films to presuppose a sequel so egregiously as to announce it in the title. I apologize for my orthodoxy, but unless there is some sort of literary precedent for sequence involving the movie-in-question, there should exist no colon in the movie’s title. A few examples of prudence:

-“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”. There were seven novels before there was one film. Colon granted.
-“Jaws: the Revenge”. The last in a sequence of four films. Filmmaker’s personal need to spice up the usual numeric sequel trend warrants unusual punctuation. Colon granted.
-“Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever”. Studies show that the actual function of the colon in name of film is unknown. Also, not a film. I cannot argue against the colon. Colon granted.

I’m sure that my inbox will be flooded with those taxonomic tomfools who will proclaim, “But, doesn’t the title ‘Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark’ assume the same function as the colon in the newer movies? Is this not a dastardly flourish in an otherwise fantastic film?” To that I answer, “The original name was simply ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’, so you can poop on yourselves. And, please, do not ‘flood’ my inbox. Thank you.”

Regardless, the titles of the Indiana Jones trilogy (I repeat, trilogy) were the obvious inspiration for such ridonkulous titles as “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief”, which sounds more like the fourth bestselling record of 1972 than a title of feature film. So it may be that we have Indiana himself to thank for stupidness in modern blockbuster nomenclature, but films such as “G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra” or “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” are already too busy making fun of themselves to feel any sting from the pitfalls of their titles’ hubris.

For the record, I quite like “Pirates of the Caribbean: Legend of the Black Pearl”. It was the single inspiration for my upcoming documentary about grammar in the age of scallywags entitled, “Arggh is for Redundancy”.

-Guest Blogger